Edward

Unfortunately this is not the Vampire Edward from the “Twilight” series. However, my experience with Edward was punctured with awkward moments.

1. Setting up the “date”.
It took us a baker’s dozen in text message to cook up the meeting specifics. And they weren’t clever or witty or flirtatious text messages. An odd contradiction to the meta-communication on location was that there was also an assertive tone in his text messages. A decisive man is not necessarily a bad thing! In fact I was thinking an alpha male would be a welcome relief. Especially if he was also a Vampire or Werewolf. We finally decided on a coffee shop. Or maybe he made that decision. He definitely decided upon the time, and then he texted me 60 minutes beforehand to make it even earlier. Weird.

2. The greeting.

He expected a hug. Go figure… that’s three for three. What I most liked about this hug was that Edward was clearly 4 to 6 inches taller than me so he decisively put his arms over mine. I would describe Edward as ‘skinny fat’, not rock hard like the Twilight Edward. Fortunately this Edward was warm blooded and never tried to bite me (that I know of).

3. The drink order.

After the brief introduction, he offered to go stand in the long line to get us drinks and suggested I stay to reserve our table. Very thoughtful! However it paused our date right after it started for about 10 minutes. Our table was close to the bathroom, so at least I was entertained by the line of patrons waiting to get in and bumping accidentally in to my knees. My bad.

4. The conversation domination.

It was quickly apparent to me that Edward was more than a professional sales man. Sales was in his blood! He could chat about anything and everything, and he did. My role was mainly to practice my active listening and affirmative nodding. I am good at that. Wonder if he noticed.

5. The real question.

Like a good salesman, he did also throw a few questions my way. The show-stopper was when he asked, “with everything that you do in your life, do you even have time for a boyfriend?” My reply was “well I need something to do now that I’ve finished the Sex in the City series.” Actually, my response was that having a boyfriend is easy for my lifestyle. The majority of the last decade of my life I have had a boyfriend, on top of keeping a full time job and being a competitive athlete. Dating and getting to know people is what seems to be time and energy consuming. Dating and not being exclusive feels like a part time job. He totally understood.

6. The good-bye.

The flowing conversation ended gracefully and we walked to our cars together. We agreed to stay in touch though I don’t think it was full-hearted by either of us. He made some comment about getting a friend to come compete with me in some games… the last awkward moment was my response where I tried to sound interested in that idea. Just never been talented at deception.

Edward was a fine gentlemen. However I think I will stick with the fictional character and let this Edward find a more willing victim.

The Brent Dates

(Yes, another A- date rating). Brent was great on our initial Match.com emails, and even impressed me in setting up our first date. Yes there is a sad commentary about me being delightfully surprised when a guy does what he says he’ll do… like, say, call you when he says, show up on time, follow-up with you afterward… but I digress. I am not a jaded Raggedy Ann. Yet.

We met at 6pm to grab a drink after work. As I was walking up to meet him he said, “Wow you definitely stand out in a crowd.” From the tone in his voice, I couldn’t tell in the least if that was a compliment or his poorly disguised shock that I am a tall woman. No, I’m not super-Shaq-sized, but tall men typically aren’t used to looking at a girl eye-to-eye. Takes them a while to optically adjust. Or that’s the story I’m sticking to.

Thankfully I was prepared for the up-front hug - not that I feel any better about it. Body to body contact with a stranger must be a California thing. I had friends for years in New England and I’m confident I never even shook their hands. Hi-fives, maybe. (Kidding!) Brent was definitely taller than me, a handsome face in a Colorado-cute-way, and pretty skinny. We sat and ordered beers. Three hours and an order of nachos later (he definitely won points in my book that he liked nachos!), we both were impressed at how quickly time had gone by. What’s that age-old saying about ‘time’ and ‘having fun’…?

Was I having fun? We talked volleyball, which he dabbles in. We talked mountain biking, which I’ve dabbled in. We talked Colorado, California, owning houses, the blessings of family… it went on and on quite easily. Not a barrel-of-laughs type of fun, but interesting-conversation fun. I left not sure if there was a romantic chemistry between us, but definitely feeling like I had experienced a great conversation with a good guy. We did hug goodbye, and I was happy when he followed up with a text the next day.

We’ve been on a second date. Apparently still not sure enough about each other to actually order food, so this one again was just meeting for drinks. The conversation got a little deeper – about religion. It was highly entertaining, as we both have very strong educated opinions on the matter, and the two hours moved just as quickly as the first date. About the not eating thing… maybe part of his strategy is to make sure I am slightly calorie deprived so I’m not thinking clearly and easier to impress. Or maybe he’s a total cheapskate. My intuition thinks neither though. I put my bets on the fact that we are slowly feeling each other out. Slow and steady. It’s a turtle race.

Big Mack

My first Match.com coffee date was with Mack. Mack is 34 years old, stands a handsome 6’4” (yeehaw!), and works as a producer and struggling actor. Of course the struggling actor part I didn’t hear about until late into our coffee date. Overall, a very nice two hour conversation that went nowhere because we ultimately both concluded that although we had a great time chatting, we live too far apart. Shit, we could have figured that out before even emailing each other. Maybe that was a back-pocket excuse for a lack of instantaneous heart melt. I would happily see him again, the next time he comes down to my turf. Ho-hum. This Raggedy Ann doesn’t have time for raggedy tires quite yet.

Awkward moments:

1. The first greeting.
   I met him at his car. Knew it was him because there was a bike on the roof, and I recognized him from his profile picture. The odd thing about online dating is you actually know someone more than you should because of what they reveal in their profile and your email conversations. So I think Mack might have been anticipating a hug. Apparently I don’t hug strangers, because I dodged that bullet and felt weird immediately.



2. Opening the door.
   We headed to the coffee shop’s door and there it was… that awkward moment where I reached for the door to let myself in, and he might have tried to open the door for me to be chivalrous… but I blew it. Like a woman on a mission I charged right in. Maybe I wasn’t thinking clearly because of the hug-dodging.



3. Paying for coffee.
   To make any attempt by him of being chivalrous worse… I accidentally ended up buying our coffees (teas, actually, but who cares). It really was an accident. I gave the coffee shop my frequent buyer discount card, and at that point Mark thanked me – like he assumed I had paid. So then I did give the cashier cash, it registered with Mark that I hadn’t paid yet, and I tried to mumble something about he paid for gas so I would happily pay for coffee. Ugh. I definitely didn’t mind paying but it wasn’t smooth, as you can tell.



4. Saying goodbye.
   All in all I thought we had an interesting and engaging two hour conversation. We talked a ton about our work and active lifestyles. So much, in fact, that it occurred to both of us that neither of us have that much free time, and definitely not enough free time to drive back and forth for 30 miles on the 405. We left it as a reciprocating, “if you’re ever around my town again, look me up.” And then there was awkward hug moment #2. This time I caved in and happily laid one on him. It was the uncomfortable, one-arm-over one-arm-under hug. I hate those.

Overall, I thought Mack was great, and I am more than relieved that my first Match.com date was with an obviously nice guy. Hope I can find more of those, and maybe some that live closer.