Edward

Unfortunately this is not the Vampire Edward from the “Twilight” series. However, my experience with Edward was punctured with awkward moments.

1. Setting up the “date”.
It took us a baker’s dozen in text message to cook up the meeting specifics. And they weren’t clever or witty or flirtatious text messages. An odd contradiction to the meta-communication on location was that there was also an assertive tone in his text messages. A decisive man is not necessarily a bad thing! In fact I was thinking an alpha male would be a welcome relief. Especially if he was also a Vampire or Werewolf. We finally decided on a coffee shop. Or maybe he made that decision. He definitely decided upon the time, and then he texted me 60 minutes beforehand to make it even earlier. Weird.

2. The greeting.

He expected a hug. Go figure… that’s three for three. What I most liked about this hug was that Edward was clearly 4 to 6 inches taller than me so he decisively put his arms over mine. I would describe Edward as ‘skinny fat’, not rock hard like the Twilight Edward. Fortunately this Edward was warm blooded and never tried to bite me (that I know of).

3. The drink order.

After the brief introduction, he offered to go stand in the long line to get us drinks and suggested I stay to reserve our table. Very thoughtful! However it paused our date right after it started for about 10 minutes. Our table was close to the bathroom, so at least I was entertained by the line of patrons waiting to get in and bumping accidentally in to my knees. My bad.

4. The conversation domination.

It was quickly apparent to me that Edward was more than a professional sales man. Sales was in his blood! He could chat about anything and everything, and he did. My role was mainly to practice my active listening and affirmative nodding. I am good at that. Wonder if he noticed.

5. The real question.

Like a good salesman, he did also throw a few questions my way. The show-stopper was when he asked, “with everything that you do in your life, do you even have time for a boyfriend?” My reply was “well I need something to do now that I’ve finished the Sex in the City series.” Actually, my response was that having a boyfriend is easy for my lifestyle. The majority of the last decade of my life I have had a boyfriend, on top of keeping a full time job and being a competitive athlete. Dating and getting to know people is what seems to be time and energy consuming. Dating and not being exclusive feels like a part time job. He totally understood.

6. The good-bye.

The flowing conversation ended gracefully and we walked to our cars together. We agreed to stay in touch though I don’t think it was full-hearted by either of us. He made some comment about getting a friend to come compete with me in some games… the last awkward moment was my response where I tried to sound interested in that idea. Just never been talented at deception.

Edward was a fine gentlemen. However I think I will stick with the fictional character and let this Edward find a more willing victim.