On impulse, I violated one of my own rules about not dating someone older than my Big Brother, and met Nick for a drink. Seems as though when people email me about Scrabble (I mention it in my profile because I can beat almost anyone at it and that's... well... important for people to know, right??) it opens a soft place in my heart and I get irrational. Anyway, the two hour date went fine. We actually had quite a bit in common, including places we've lived, our careers, passion for volleyball, etc. The conversation flowed easily, was balanced, and there were lots of laughs.
So this is why I hate myself:
1. He looks old, and I have a problem with it.
Who am I to judge a book by its cover? But alas... Nick is 38 and looks it. Has slightly weathered skin (aka, "saggy"), pronounced smile lines, graying hair, and wore stone washed jeans. Truthfully not a bad looking guy for nearly being 40, and a little fashion help would go a long way. But as I sat across from him, my immature ego was literally saying I am waaaaaay too young for him. My smile lines only show up when I'm really tired! I pull out the few grays hairs that I can find! And though my Raggedy Fashion could use some polishing of it's own, I certainly know enough not to role my jeans anymore. Yes I am resisting "looking" older, and walking arm in arm with a saggy 38 year old won't help my facade. Damn Ann. Don't have to worry about drowning in this pool of shallowness.
2. He asked me out on a second date, and I said "Yes".
To make matters worse, I didn't have the courage to say to him at the end of our pleasant date that I wasn't interested in him romantically. I cowarded out, and sheepishly said I would join him in a movie sometime soon. Maybe I am hoping once I venture out on date #2, that magically he will look younger and more appetizing. Or that I will recover from my obvious ageism and give a good guy a chance.
I think this is one of those things men hate about women. Sorry gentlemen. I lamed out.
1 comment:
I have been thinking that I should date older men. They have been around the block and are more mature. They want to settle down, or have settled down and learned from it. I get a little picky when it comes to baggage (kids, ex wife). I also can't go for guys shorted than I am. I tried it once and was too uncomfortable!
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